End of week2 - Regroup!

OK hobbies have to take a back seat except for urgent things and filling in breaks from work.
On top of concentration, I need a intermediate goal that would keep my consistency. So for now, eyes on pushing out paper #1. Also need to think harder! Wasted a whole week not doing data analysis like I should b/c I got side tracked and didn't push myself hard enough on that

day 9 - FAIL

Haven't been able to concentrate since Monday!
Did some drawing, reading, socializing.. however failure to focus is inexcusable (maybe for a day of physical ailment) and horrid! Three days in a row is destructive and I gotta meet boss tomorrow!!!

Day 7 - discontinuous super hightened weirdness

This past weekend I didn't do any reading or thinking I was planning to do - as usual, but I actually got out more and had a good time, so it wasn't a complete waste of time. And I actually started on my long list of hobbies. At least I'm not completely wasting my time when I couldn't concentrate on work!
Reading O.Henry stories also helped me realise that it's more probable that my concentration had slipped all together in recent years due to lack of pressure since college, rather than that I couldn't concentrate specifically on papers and textbooks. Whew!
Today I had too much coffee, so I had small epochs of great concentration but there was no continuity in my work b/c I was jittery and freaking out. Read about nonlinear dynamics which was great and kept reading about APIs (for hobbies). Not a great day, I'd give it a 60 :/
Anyway, as the new week begins, main things to do this week is reading and thinking.
0) Papers!!
1) threads for the first paper/ already proposed protocols
2) keep thinking about NIH
3) Concentrate Concentrate and Concentrate!! It's still my #1 priority and the weakest, most dire thing waiting to improve

Day 6 - okay turned sudden sad spiral

Day started great, I was perky and thinking what a glorious new day it was, blah blah, concentration was okay, still need to work on understanding others and being alert, but at least my mind wasn't in lala land. Boss mostly took over the meeting, but at least I wasn't getting overrun by my rival (*sigh, too much Meerkat Manor...., why isn't meerkat recognized as a word?!). Made a list of hobbies to do, which would be good in helping me feel productive even if I don't focus on work 100%. Then I fell into deep depression after I went home. Took some of my sadness out on drawing.
Score:
1) concentration: 75
2) hobbies: getting started!
3) Social: 80
Tomorrow:
A whole freaking weekend of thinking and reading ahead. Not really looking forward to it, but Lord knows I need to get moving, though I need the ocean right now

Day 5 - also good!

A small but solid success! Concentration slipped at home, but I'd say it's worth it. Strolling home in the lingering orange sun of a midsummer's evening is every bit as sweet.
Perhaps the best success today is being able to speak calmly and assertively (more than usual anyway). I think my boss may have noticed it too. I also spoke more carefully, in a more organized manner, asserting a project leader role in an email I sent out to the group. I could feel my confidence building up, and I do realize, it's only a matter of my own will whether I take a leading role. It's somewhat sad that I have to learn this social behavior from meerkats.. but oh well, it's better than nothing. I finally realized I couldn't survive with my lone ranger style, I either had to lead or to follow. Between my only two options, I lead. I don't follow.
I did everything I set out to do, except for that paper that would bleach into tomorrow. But still, efficiency was not too bad.
Concentration: 75
Social: 91 (just an extra point more from yesterday for being calm and assertive, a completely different kind of progress in social behavior)!
Tomorrow:
1)Read the paper before meeting
2)tidy up protocol and practice presenting it as a project leader
3)work on NIH proposal some more. Boss actually liked Aim 1 ! Hooray!

Day 4 - Good

A small Success! I actually finished what I aimed to do today without repeats!
Granted, it's not cognitive-heavy and my efficiency wasn't all that great, but still, success! And I have a couple of hours before bed to work on the proposal!
Tomorrow:
1) Look over the stuff that's to be shown to the boss again
2) Type up something about the proposal aims loosely so I can at least talk to my boss about it
-----meet boss
3) Resume the 3 paper/week thing!
4) Write email to boss for the meeting summary/what to do next week. So far he's been writing them I feel ashamed about it!

Although I missed the "meet the potential grad student" thing, I did take some steps and volunteered for the Student Advisory Board. Great lunch, great conversation. Didn't feel crabby or isolated at all! And I tried suppressing the bitterness towards certain people, which was working great because I was genuinely NOT bitter! I was happy and had productive entertainment rather than wasting my time web surfing.

I'll start marking some productive gadget building sites as my default "go to entertainment surfing sites", instead of the usual boring news sites over and over, most of which i actually blocked anyway.. So I'll start giving quantitative scores at the end of the day. Today
Goal 1) concentration: 70 out of 100
2) hobbies: n/a
3) social behavior: 90/100

Day 3

Somewhat unproductive. Struggling to come up with some more specific driving questions to tie the proposal together. I guess I'll give it a chill and talk to my boss about it Thusrday. Meanwhile realized I haven't gotten Methods or experimental protocol design done at all. That said, tomorrow, full throttle on those 2 things coz i have to show my boss on thursday.
1) Methods
2) Experiment protocol design. Overalls of doing things: baseline sweep etc and the specifics of parameter range